The doctor held the scalpel,

Assured her that its just a smile to the south of her,

Told her its for the best and she will be fine as long as she gets the rest,

The next minute altered her life by pulling one out of her,

They took her babe away to give her a bath,

What an awakening! One minute her daughter ensconced in her womb and next life was at her doorstep with its first chore; a bath,

She saw it all while the surgeons sewed her back together,

Someone asked “What was the score?”,

She thought, how mundane is this for them, my life altered and theirs alteration has not found,

She was wheeled out of the operating room,

One nurse asked if she wanted a painkiller,

Another asked if she was ready for skin to skin,

Another came for a fundal massage,

Another pressed her daughter to her chest to feed,

Was it all the same phantom or different ones? She could not recall,

She was one big wound,

She needed her pain to be eased,

Yet the child at her breast was impatiently waiting for her mother,

So she held the tender head and found a whole different strength to give her one,

She wanted to sleep,

But the doctor asked her to pump instead, so her supply would come,

She wanted to eat,

But her family said to limit her diet so the child can digest,

She needed to sleep,

But everyone said no shortcuts with formula, wake up and nurse your daughter,

She needed for her mind to be eased,

The women in her life told her , this is nothing special, we have all been through it,

She had no choice but to cope,

She had no choice but not to cry,

Every bit of her left to spare needed to love and nurture the little seed,

She was in a dark place yet she had to coo,

She could not wallow, her life now was one of service,

She wished she could take her angst and erupt like a volcano , spew lava and get a release,

Just wishing it would all burn burn burn,

Then she saw her daughters face,

A glance from her daughter reduced her fire to wisps of smoke,

She remembered she must be better,

Better than herself for the sake of her progeny,

Better to herself for the sake of her other flesh,

She took a deep breath,

than one more,

than one more,

than one more,

than one more,

Self-care must wait, its was time to nurse her child.